Anger is a natural part of the grief process. As we experience the various aspects of life in our special-need world, we will always find ourselves at various stages in dealing with our emotions and grief. Anger is one such emotion and stage.
I personally made the near-fatal mistake of letting anger and denial destroy me in the early years after receiving our diagnoses. I was acting out of my anger and l let it affect my relationship with my spouse, my family, and my friends.
Ultimately though, uncontrolled anger hurts ourselves as much, if not more, than other around us. Unbridled anger over our circumstances can lead to bitterness, despair, and chronic sorrow. If anger were a road, it would be a dead-end road leading us to nowhere.
Anger is a response, and we have a choice in how we respond to all things. We can choose to act, speak, and live out of anger. Or, we can choose to act out of joy, acceptance, and determination to rise above our circumstances.
When we choose the latter, our perspective begins to shift and change. God opens our eyes to his purposes, his presence, and his character. God can channel our anger into a “holy discontent” that he can actually use in our lives.
Our prayers will become more about asking God to use our circumstances than they are about asking him to change our circumstances.
Everything in our lives can be perceived as a burden or a blessing. How we respond ultimately determines the choice we make in how we perceive it.
Uncontrolled or chronic anger robs us of the ability to make the right choices when determining how we will react and respond to our circumstances.
Surrender and confess your anger problems to God, and ask him for help. Don’t let anger rob you of your joy, peace, and contentment as you go along the journey of being a special-needs parent.
Father God, please help me in dealing with my anger. I admit it is a struggle for me sometimes, and affect my thinking. I ask you to help me control my anger. Your word says you turn our sorrow into joy, help me see things from your perspective and use my thoughts and actions for your glory. Amen.
Take control of what I say, O Lord, and guard my lips.
Psalm 141:3 NLT
By Jeff Davidson
Husband to Becky, Father of one
1 Corinthians 13 Parenting Team Member
Rising Above Ministries
Author of No More Peanut Butter Sandwiches: a father, a son with special needs, and their journey with God