Why? Why? Why? Why?
As a parent, have you ever had someone question your parenting choices? I have.
After adopting our first 3 children, I had a friend tell me, “Parenting an adopted child is no different than any other child.”
She could not have been more wrong.
Do this. Right now, drop what you are doing and go in the room where your biological child is and say to them, “I will be here in the morning when you wake up”, and then walk away. What would their reaction be? They would probably look at you really weird. If I were to do that right now with any one of my six children that we adopted, the reaction would be quite different. It would be a sigh of relief and a feeling of stress relieved.
Thus, I have to do things a little different than the average household to instill security and peace.
As parents through biology, foster care, or adoption, we all have decisions and boundaries we create to help our children thrive and our households run smoothly. Social media and television can make us second guess our decisions from day to day. You decide to use TIME OUT no sooner than someone tells you via a blog that TIME IN is the only way to go. Your family decides to become vegetarians only to see a media swarm of articles everywhere about not giving children all the nutrients they need to grow. Maybe you decide to homeschool and your family, friends, or even a reality show pokes fun and tells you your kids will be weird as a result.
STOP the MADNESS!!!!!!!
Turn off the TV. Sign off the Internet. Cut off your ringers. Don’t read another magazine, newspaper, or blog until you answer the following questions:
1) What is the vision for your family?
2) What are the values that your family holds dear?
3) What standards of living will you not bend on?
4) What environment do you want to create in your home?
5) What is the relationship that you want with your spouse? Children?
I am a homeschooler, so I see every possible method, strategy, and philosophy known to man about homeschooling. It is easy to get side-tracked and think I am not doing it right or enough. Not one parent on the planet is perfect.
We do however have the insight, passion, and wisdom to choose what is best for our kids.
Trust yourself. Trust that you are on the right track. Trust that you will make needed changes when necessary. Put a halt to the frenzy of information that is keeping you up at night.
The choices you have made for your family have been as a result of the five things above. So many times we allow outside influences to dictate our worth and ability to make decisions for our families. What works for one family may not work for another. That is okay.
So the next time you are evaluating a decision for your family & household, go back to the five things above. No matter what the experts say and no matter what they told you at the latest parenting seminar, trust yourself! Returning to these foundational questions will keep you right on target when the wind storm of media comes flying your way.
When we are trusting God to lead us in the direction we are to go, we have to focus on His leading and not everyone else’s. When we are tossed back and forth due to other’s opinions or advice it brings unrest, insecurity and a lack of peace in our home.
That is not faith.
But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering.
For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.
James 1:6 KJV
What areas of your life or parenting have you allowed outside influences to intimidate or make you feel inadequate? How can you stand firm regardless of those influences (people, media, images)?
Karla Marie Williams
Wife to Thomas
Mom of 6
I Corinthians 13 Parenting Tam Member
Speaker, Writer & Advocate for Kids