For more posts by Lori Wildenberg go to https://loriwildenberg.com/
“That didn’t hurt.”
Have you heard those words after applying a bottom swat to your youngster? If so, your spankin’ days are done.
Why? Because now the challenge is to hit till it hurts. Not a good dynamic.
One of the most common questions asked in our 1 Corinthians 13 Parenting classes, is if Becky and I recommend spanking. And with total conviction we say,
Okay, let me explain.
Here are the four qualifiers:
1. If you have anger issues…..don’t spank.
2. If you were brought up in an abusive home….don’t spank.
3. If your child is five-years-old or older….don’t spank. (See alternatives at the end of this article.)
4. When you are angry…don’t spank.
Here are four things to make spanking effective:
1. If both parents agree that spanking is a technique they would like to utilize.
2. When it is a predetermined response to a specific action. For example, some parents spank for “disrespectful attitudes” and some spank for “unsafe behavior”.
3. Your child is two to four-years-old.
4. If you are in-control, not emotional.
And here is the “proper” way to administer a spanking:
1. Do this in private. Spanking is a humiliating action. So be respectful of your child when delivering this consequence.
2. Provide a statement first, “We spank for safety. You ran out into the street without holding my hand.”
3. Get it over with. A quick bottom tap.
4. Follow-up with a loving hug.
5. State how the child can behave differently the next time,”We hold hands when we cross the street.”
Try to remember the behavior you want. Focus on training the child for that behavior. Even if you use spanking, talk about the preferred and alternative behavior to replace the undesirable one at the conclusion of “The Spank”.
Train a child in the way he should go.
What problems have you encountered with spanking? What parameters do you put around corporal punishment?
If you liked this post you may want to head over to Amazon and get your copy of Raising Little Kids with Big Love .
By Lori Wildenberg, licensed parent and family educator, author speaker, and co-founder of 1 Corinthians 13 Parenting.
Lori’s 4th and 1st solo book, Messy Journey: How Grace and Truth Offer the Prodigal a Way Home has just been published! Lori is the lead mentor mom for Moms Together (a Facebook Community Page) and a contributor to a number of online magazines: Crosswalk.com, The Munce Blog, The Mom Initiative, Life Notes Cafe, ChristianParenting.org, and Her View from Home. Lori also writes the monthly Family Matters column for Red Rocks Views magazine. Catch Lori’s practical and warm-hearted faith and family blog Eternal Moments every Monday. She is available for speaking, parenting workshops, and parent consulting and coaching. Contact Lori at LoriWildenberg.com.