Moms and dads have a backseat view of their children’s lives when they leave the nest. Our input is sought, sometimes. Rarely is the advice taken as a directive. This is good! We raise our kids to be independent, and ultimately dependent on Jesus. Calling home at every bend in the road of life and getting instructions from mom or dad is not helpful for the young person.
Even though it’s hard for me personally, I’m trying to stay in the backseat, not to be a backseat driver, but to watch and enjoy the view. My boys are in the driver’s seat, navigating on their own. My prayer is that they both lean into their Creator and His purposes for their lives.
- Love more, talk less.
- Assist only when asked.
- Use I statements, not “You should…”
- Encourage rather than enable.
- Be respectful, even if you don’t agree.
- Be a cheerleader.
- Include, but don’t require.
- Allow failure to help growth.
Certain things don’t have to change. I’ll probably always call the kids by their childhood nicknames, in private. I will continue to pray the soft voice of the Spirit guides and keeps them on track. And I’ll always be ready when they come home for dinner or want to talk.
You shall follow the LORD your God and fear Him;
and you shall keep His commandments, listen to His voice, serve Him, and cling to Him.
© 2018 Becky Danielson. All rights reserved.
Previously posted on FaithFirstParent.com.
Photo by Alejandro Salinas on Unsplash