For more posts by Lori Wildenberg go to https://loriwildenberg.com/
“Mom, can you help me with my math?” (Foolish question. Of course not!)
I tried. She failed.
I provided help. My daughter received an F. OOPS.
Math is not my thing. (Ya’ think?) But I’m learning my mistakes, even my “incompetences” are opportunities. Opportunities for growth. I’m beginning to understand imperfection is a quality to embrace in myself and in my kids.
My parental goal is not shooting for perfection in my child or in myself. My mom pal, Julie Sanders, captures this thought by saying,“Perfection is not the standard of success.” Hmmmm. What a FREEING concept! LOVE IT!
Recently I wrote a guest blog post for Jill Savage . In the article, I mentioned how the spills and accidents in life are opportunities. They are moments where parents can model grace and humility. When our kids fall short regarding best behavior or a good attitude, they can watch and learn from our responses.
So what is success, if the standard isn’t performing with perfection, completing a project perfectly, or meeting a goal?
Maybe…just maybe… success is the ability to deal with and learn from failure.
Here are the top ten ways (plus one more) imperfection leads to success for kids…and parents. We can adjust our mindset to thrive during times of strife or failure:
- Perspective is changed. Imperfection points out- it is not the end of the world when something doesn’t turn out as planned.
- Priorities are ordered. Imperfection increases the awareness we can’t do it all. We all must pick and choose what is important and to put the focus and emphasis on those items.
- Permission is given to seek assistance. Imperfection teaches our kids that asking for and accepting help is a good thing.
- Personality traits such as compassion and empathy are developed. Imperfection in ourselves increases our understanding of another’s short comings.
- Peacefulness is the best response to a hardship. Imperfection gives children the opportunity to choose peace over anger.
- Positions individuals to be a perpetual learner. Every day of our lives, we can learn something new.
- Patience is developed. Imperfection is the best way to build the tenacity muscle.
- Polishes the ability to give grace to another. Imperfection enables kids to extend grace to another when he or she is less than perfect.
- Proficient in the practice of forgiveness. Imperfection allows children become practiced in the action of forgiving themselves when they mess up.
- Promotes a sense of humor. Imperfect teaches us not to take ourselves too seriously.
And one more… prayer life is increased. Imperfection draws people closer to the Lord. It’s a reminder that there is only ONE who is perfect and He desires to be invited on the journey.
Perfectionism stirs the pot of pride. It produces a critical and judgmental spirit. It can be a barrier to healthy relationships.
So…knowing being perfect isn’t the goal, instead we teach our kids to do their best, ask for help when needed (except for math assignments), offer assistance to others, and then when the mistakes inevitably seep into the fray to show grace, peace, and forgiveness.
There is only one perfect person and none of us are Him.
He who began a good work in you
will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
By Lori Wildenberg Wife to Tom and Mom of 4. Lori is the Co-founder of 1 Corinthians 13 Parenting.
She is co-author of three parenting books (with Becky Danielson), is a national speaker, contributing writer for many on-line magazines, including Crosswalk and ChristianParenting.org, and parent consultant. Lori’s newest book and 1st solo endeavor Messy Journey: How Grace and Truth Offer the Prodigal a Way Home is available on Amazon or at your favorite on-line or brick and mortar store.
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