I couldn’t think past the day I was in, let alone 5 years down the road. I simply wanted to survive the day, and I had little hope for the future, and I had no energy to do more than to live day to day; caring for the emotions and well-being of my children and myself.
So in a goal-driven culture, how do single mothers navigate their hearts?
One way that I have been able to overcome the overwhelming feelings of failure that setting goals brings is to change my paradigm.
Instead of attempting to come up and attain goals, I try to consider what the dreams of my heart are. Any good goal begins with the dream. We have to imagine something more than what we can accomplish for ourselves. Dreaming does not involve a task list of things to do to make it happen. Dreaming involves connecting with something bigger. Goals can be birthed out of our dreams, but if you are overwhelmed at the thought of setting New Year Goals, I encourage you to allow yourself to dream a little (or dream BIG).
- Something that you are trying to do or achieve.
- The object of a person’s ambition or effort; an aim or desired result.
However, a dream is something that you HOPE for.
- Contemplate the possibility of doing something or that something might be the case.
- A visionary creation of the imagination.
Dreams give us hope for the future; the idea of a goal can weigh us down.
Even in the early days of my broken marriage, I had dreams. My dreams were for my children. My dreams were that my children would know the Lord and know their identity as sons and daughters. I wasn’t able to come up with a plan to make sure it happened, but the dreams got me out of bed each day and moving toward something that was more than I could achieve on my own. I would need a God who cared for the fatherless, and I knew where to find Him; in the quietness of my room, week after week.
I would share my dreams with my God and ask HIM to fulfill the dreams of my heart for my children.
The world told me I was without hope for my kids. But I had to choose to anchor my soul into someone-something BIGGER than the world. I had to anchor my soul in the promises of God. That meant I had to give myself to time meditating and learning those promises.
Here are a few that got me through the early years of being a single mother:
I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants. And they will spring up among the grass, like poplars by streams of water.
This one will say, “I am the Lord’s and that one will call on the name of Jacob; and another will write on his hand ‘belonging to the Lord’. (That last promise was when my oldest started coming home with tattoos.)
A father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows,
Is God in His holy habitation.
Isaiah 54: 13
All your sons will be taught of the Lord and the well-being of your sons will be great (This whole chapter if full of promise for single mothers!)
As 2015 knocks on the door of your home, you can look at it with hopeful expectation.
Don’t get bogged down with a list of goals, instead allow yourself to dream. Remember dreams are something bigger than we can naturally attain, so connecting yourself with the One who fulfills His promises will be vital.
Encourage others by sharing are 1-2 of the dreams you have for 2015. See if you can find a biblical promise to go with your dreams.
By Misty Honnold
Mother of 2 adult girls, 2 adult sons & 2 amazing NEW sons (married to daughters)
1 Corinthians 13 Parenting Team Member
Executive Director and Founder of The Single MOM KC
Hostess of Mocha Moments For The Single MOM