Some years ago, I found myself destitute and utterly alone, my world suddenly formless and void, without life and hope for the future. As I read the words of Genesis 1, I could identify with the formless void:
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was formless and void, and darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the waters (Genesis 1:1-2).
Suddenly I had become the single parent of four children. The labels rejected one, despised, abandoned, and unloved sought to destroy me. There were many days that I laid on the floor of my house and looked up to heaven and uttered, “If YOU, Lord, do NOT put your face on my face and breath your breath of life in me, like you did at creation, like you did with Adam when you breathed life into him, I will die”.
That was my heart.
However, the Spirit of God was brooding over the surface of my dark soul. I felt like Adam must have been before God breathed the breath of life into Him:
The Lord God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being (Genesis 2:7).
I knew that God would literally have to give me CPR. His voice would have to break into the formless void of my soul if I were to move on, parenting my children. I knew there was something of God I needed. I needed that breath of life that would sustain me day-by-day, moment-by-moment.
What I didn’t realize at the time was that Jesus was leading me into something. And because of the hopeless place I was in, I found I was ready to reluctantly go.
I completely understood what Simon Peter must have felt when he proclaimed: “Lord, to whom shall we go? You [alone] have the words of eternal life [you are our only hope]. Whom have I but you Jesus? Where would I go?” (John 6:68 Amp)
The court system didn’t offer me hope. A job didn’t offer me hope. My children, church, and other people offered no hope. The only place I found hope was in Christ Jesus. He wanted my soul anchored to the truth of who He was…Hope. I had a long arduous journey ahead.
Jesus held the words of life I would need to make it through each day and I desperately wanted to enter into abundant life for the sake of my children. So
I got out my college lined notebook paper, my colored pens and day after day I would give myself pockets of time to attempt to understand the mysterious language of the book Song of Solomon. Jesus wanted me to understand who He was as my Bridegroom…in a season when REJECTED was my name…Jesus wanted to RENAME me. I began to write my love song to the Lord; birthed out a deep place of desperation. My experience with the Lord seemed to be somewhat outside the box back in 1998; however, now the term is “creative journaling”.
I said “YES” and learned a process to connect with His heart with crayons, watercolors, colored pens, oil pastels, and more.
I am visual and the journey needed to fun and engaging!
I would write a line or verse in one color. Then I would write my thoughts in another color. Oftentimes there were things that I felt Jesus was telling me and I would write that in yet another color and then I would turn it all into a prayer in another color. I am not an artist but I gave myself permission to color. My journals are filled with me expressing myself outside of the lines. And as I allowed myself the freedom to cast off restraints in my dialogue with Him and in my creative expression, He would meet me time and time again.
Since that time I have learned that the right side of our brain is the creative side, the relational side.
As we use art, music, dance, and other forms of creativity it sparks or unlocks our relational connectors. I was shut down relationally, God knew how to open up my receptors to learn to hear from Him and respond to Him.
Take time to unlock the right side of your brain…get out crayons and a coloring book. Sit on the floor with worship music and let the Lord speak to your through color and movement.
We have a Savior who longs to do this with each of us, in those areas of our life where our identity is not in alignment with His truth. He allows circumstances to show us our deficits, to awaken the longings and the aches. The questions are: will we answer and will we respond?
How do you respond creatively to the Lord?
By Misty Honnold
Mother of 2 adult girls, 2 adult sons & 2 amazing son-in-laws (married to daughters)
1 Corinthians 13 Parenting Team Member
Executive Director and Founder of The Single MOM KC
Hostess of Mocha Moments For The Single MOM