Hello, my name is regret
I’m pretty sure we have met
every single day of your life
I’m the whisper inside
That won’t let you forget……
From: “Hello, My Name is”, by Matthew West Into The Light
- Every time you have yelled at your children
- Every time you have not been there an important event in the lives of your children
- Every time you have not cooked a healthy dinner for your children
- Every time you have wanted to run away
- The people you have dated
- Being absent because you have to work 3 jobs
Night after night I was faced with my shortcomings as a parent. My children were bearing the wounds of an absent father, and now every day it seemed, I missed the mark on parenting well and leading them into the loving arms the All-Sufficient Father.
I continue to watch other mothers live out of the bondage of regret, striving to make up for past mistakes, for the absence of a father, or for lack of finances. It is destroying them from the inside out.
The lyrics in song mentioned above by Matthew West, go on to share about how we are redefined, not by the lies and shame of the past, but by the reality that we are a “Child of the One True King.”
The challenge is moving out of the pit of parental regret, into the truth of who He is (notice I did not say who WE are)
1. The truth first has to start with HIM.
If we do know understand the heart of the loving Father, the perfect Creator, we will never understand who we are. We live in a culture that is trying to get us to discover who we are made to be, the focus is still on self…we must shift our focus on who I am to who HE is…it means nothing to be a child of the King if I do not know who the King is.
2. Look To The Word
Our minds and perspective change and what others say changes. But God’s Word is the ONE place that the truth of who God is does not change. The unchangeable truth of His character is found only in scripture. Do a study, a search for words like: Father, Shepherd, Creator, Restorer, Redeemer, etc. See what the word says about HIM. Or study the man Jesus. “He who has seen Me has seen the Father” (John 14:9)
3. Take it One Day At A Time
Regret is a pit we live in, a black hole. It may take a while for us to build a ladder of truth that will bring us out of the pit once and for all. If we have lived in the lie and shame for years, it will take a while to live out of a new mindset.
Even after 16 years, the enemy wants to drag me back into that pit of regret. When my children stumble, I want to blame myself, my mistakes, my imperfections as a mom. BUT, then I remember GRACE; I fall into grace instead of the pit of regret. I remember that He is the perfect parent and my children can choose to live in the void of my imperfections or discover a wonderful loving Father. I figured out, if I had done it all right, my kids wouldn’t need Jesus…Praise God they need JESUS.
And he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.”
Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NASV)
Where do you find yourself today? In the pit of regret or in the arms of the One True King?
By Misty Honnold
Mother of 2 adult girls, 2 adult sons & 2 amazing NEW sons (married to daughters)
1 Corinthians 13 Parenting Team Member
Executive Director and Founder of The Single MOM KC
Hostess of Mocha Moments For The Single MOM
West, Matthew ,“Hello My Name Is”, Into the Light, 2012