Usually, one half plus on half equals one whole. Oddly, in marriage this equation comes up short. A healthy marriage is made of two whole healthy individuals. We can’t come to the relationship expecting the other to “fill us.” Unfortunately, we are told a different message in movies, songs, and fairytales. Jerry McGuire so famously portrayed this myth in the line, “You complete me.”
Thinking our spouse will complete or fill us is a trap. Instead, each individual is responsible to bring a whole healthy self to the marriage, not a half. It seems crazy to think somehow you could actually take care of your spouses’ spiritual, physical, and emotional health for them. These are areas we must take personal responsibility.
Imagine you tried to make your spouse responsible for your physical health. Lounging on the coach, you sigh and eat your chocolate, wishing your spouse would do a couple of sit-ups for you. You imagine them eating a carrot and running a bit on the treadmill. Then you get on the scale and see you’ve gained weight! Surprise!
Taking good care of you takes time. Making healthy food choices and exercising takes time. Spending time in prayer and reading God’s Word, listening to wise teaching, and attending church takes time. Enjoying friendship, talking, and listening takes time! Time spent taking good care of you isn’t selfish. Instead, it is taking personal responsibility. It is a gift to your marriage. By taking good care of yourself, you are able to come to your marriage a whole healthy self.
What have you been expecting your spouse to take care of that is your responsibility? How can you take time for yourself as a gift to your marriage? How can you create time in your marriage and family for personal time?
There is a time for everything…
By Heather Larson, M.A.
Wife to Peter
Mom of three
1 Corinthians 13 Team Member
Associate Director of 10 Great Dates
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