Recently I had a wonderful conversation with a dear friend while chasing our lovely kiddos all around the park. The difference between her and I was that she had three to chase….at three completely different stages and ages. Can she literally be at three places at once??? Baby in stroller wanting fed, two-year-old toddling around needing help, and four-year-old wanting to be pushed in the swing. I see these mothers balance this amazing juggling act on a completely consistent basis and it baffles me how they stay so patient and focused and quite calm through it all. At one time, she actually said aloud “I cannot be three people!” in a joking light chuckle, as she stretched one arm to swing the toddler and another to rock the crying babe to sleep in the stroller. But wait! he phone rings!! She realizes that she does NOT have a third arm! She then asks me to take over the stroller while she answers the phone.
As we dance around the playground chasing this one and that one, we share the difficulties and rewards of parenting and our challenges and innermost struggles as women and as mothers….she says, “I just have to have the mindset that this is my job. And then I don’t feel the tension between what I want and what they ask of me. I change my expectations.”
I agreed with her completely. We mothers must have that frame of mind and I know personally, that when I lose that mindset- and drift toward my agenda, I always lose. I am constantly re-framing my mind set saying that ‘mantra’ so to say… “This is my job…This is my job….I am blessed with this job…”
It’s a constant pull until you realize and give in to your “calling” as a mother. If I have the “me outlook”, then my patience is limited, my agenda is priority, and my focus is in a constant battle against all odds to get me satisfied! If I have the “kids outlook”, I tend to have more patience, their priority is my goal, and my focus is a constant battle against all odds to get them satisfied! Ha!!!
No seriously now, everything changes when you realize and are able to accept your position in your life and what your called to do. We as mothers wear so many “hats” and have many jobs in life, (some we even get paid for!) and we can lose ourselves in all of them. This is not at all my intention to encourage moms to lose themselves in our jobs!!! It IS however, my intention to help ignite the fire of inspiration within each mama heart and awaken their vision to one of the world’s most precious jobs of all…. MOTHERHOOD. What a privilege we are honored with in this job of all jobs!!!! It is the hardest and most fulfilling job we are called to do. God really must have thought we were made for it!
So next time you are at your wits end and need only to get “just one more thing done” or find yourself losing your mind over mindless days, or you are isolated with cancellations AGAIN due to sickness…. or you are up again in the night with a little one….or maybe dreading this activity or that event….or you are sick and tired and wish for just one moment you could rest…remind yourself, that even though it’s a tough one…even though its never ever ending….even though it can be humiliating and nerve racking, terrifying and exhausting, exciting and glorifying….
It’s your JOB…
What an honor!
By Chris Carter
Wife to Derek, Mom of two
SAHM (Stay at Home Mom)
1 Corinthians 13 Parenting Team Member
Blogger at The Mom Cafe
Originally posted at The Mom Cafe, March 29, 2011.