During the holidays, Scott, the boys, and I saw the movie Unbroken with four other families. The kids are all high school and college-age and many had already read the book. We’d reserved the party room at the local theater, had pizza together, and settled into the comfy seats in the viewing room. The lights lowered and the previews began with boisterous comments as to what movies we’d like to see in the future. Since we were in a separate room from the rest of the theater, the running commentary wasn’t as issue.
Then one particular trailer stopped the conversation cold. The friendly banter ceased. The adults shifted in their seats as a torrid love scene hit the big screen. One of the dads spoke up, “Well, I think Fifty Shades of Grey will not be on the family night out movie list.”
Sex. It’s uncomfortable to talk about in a mixed group. It’s really uncomfortable to see on a mega screen with a group of teenagers. But sex is a topic moms and dads need to get comfortable talking about with their kids. As witnessed in the theater, and the trailer was mild compared to what’s available online, our children are bombarded with the cultural view of intimacy.
Sex was designed by God for mankind to “be fruitful and multiply” and also for pleasure between a man and a woman in the covenant of marriage. If you don’t believe me, read Song of Solomon in the Bible. It’s down right racy!
Unfortunately, kids today are inundated by the messages, “If it feels good, do it” and YOLO (you only live once). Parents who want to get the purity message across to kids need to be well-equipped with sound facts and biblical truth.
In Raising Big Kids with Supernatural Love, Lori and I have included a number of ways to help parents navigate. The topics of pornography, sexting, cohabitation, and other subjects related to sex and intimacy are discussed. Casual “hooking up” is also included. Doug Herman, a national speaker on purity and author of Come Clean, is quoted in how youth and young adults are forced into one of two lies to avoid getting hurt in premarital or casual sex. There’s either a disconnect or sex in seen as entertainment.1 So sad when it’s a beautiful part of life.
Mom and Dad, model love to your kids: little ones, tweens, teens, and young adults. Have developmentally appropriate conversations about intimacy. They will take their cues from you and your spouse. Kids feel secure when they know mom and dad love each other. So pucker up this Valentine’s Day, hold hands, and snuggle. It’s good for your marriage and it’s a great example for your kids!
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth–
for your love is more delightful than wine.
Song of Solomon 1:2
1. Lori Wildenberg & Becky Danielson, Raising Big Kids with Supernatural Love, Friendswood: Bold Vision Books, 2014, p. 164.
By Becky Danielson
Wife to Scott, Mom of two
Licensed Parent & Family Educator
Co-founder of 1 Corinthians 13 Parenting
Co-author of The 1 Corinthians 13 Parent Series:
Raising Little Kids with Big Love and
Raising Big Kids with Supernatural Love
The 1 Corinthians 13 Parent Series: Raising Little Kids with Big Love and Raising Big Kids with Supernatural Love and their companion Study Guides, are formally launched this month. We are sharing the LOVE with over $400.00 worth of give-aways: books, jewelry, and one-on-one parent coaching with either Lori Wildenberg or Becky Danielson, both licensed parent and family educators. To be eligible for the gifts, comment on one or more of the 1C13P blog posts during the month of February. Winners will be randomly drawn each Friday and notified via email.