How are the girls holding up? Has everyone been eating fine? Are they “regular”? Everybody doing their chores? Are they treating each other nice? What are you guys doing today? Eating today? Learning today? Going today? What are they watching? Playing? Saying? Having? Are they washing their hands?
As a speaker and writer, there are times of the year when I travel more than others. I love what I do but it drives me nuts being away from my husband and six kids. I must admit it is for more than one reason. Mainly it is because I miss them so much. The other reason is because…wait for it…….My name is Karla and I AM A RECOVERING CONTROL FREAK!
It is hard to admit that sometimes as moms we feel we have to micromanage our homes and the people in them for everything to run smoothly. Dads do things a little different than we do. Not wrong, just different. For so many years I could not leave the house for an hour without questions, suggestions, and my tips of wisdom for Dad while I am away. He has always been so sweet about it and just rolled with the flow. After a while, I could see that is was starting to get on his nerves. Why was I stressing myself out because he did not do things my way?
I had this unrealistic notion that if things were not done a certain way that the house would blow up and everyone’s life was in danger.
I actually thought that my way was better and that we could only achieve the desired outcome doing it my way.
I projected my need for control on him. Wanting to be in control of what, when, and how everything happened in my absence.
I had to admit my issue because it was causing unnecessary stress. I had to admit that my way was not always the best way. I had to take notes on his way of doing things that in many cases were better.
So here I am sitting in a hotel 1000’s of miles away from my family. Relaxing and content. Thinking of how wonderful my husband is and how magnificently he handles the kids and the affairs of our home when mommy is away. I have learned to just let Dad be Dad. To let him do things his way. So now when I call home, I can say good night and I love you to the kids and not have to ask a million questions. It was hard to change this area of my thinking but it has been one of the most liberating things I could have done for me and for my family. Just let Dad be Dad!
Are there areas of your life, home or relationships that could benefit from you letting go? Does the need for control and worry paralyze you?
And he said unto them, “Why are ye so fearful? How is it that ye have no faith?”
Mark 4:40 (KJV)
By Karla Marie Williams
Wife to Tom
Mom of 6
1 Corinthians 13 Parenting Team Member
Speaker, Writer, and Advocate for Children in Need of Forever Families