So often as a single mother I was weary of the battle. I would get so tired of being the only disciplinarian, the only emotional anchor, the only decision maker, the only adult navigating the hearts of 4 children/adolescents. I don’t know how many times I lay on my floor sobbing, (yes, sobbing) “I quit Lord…I just can’t do this any more”. I sincerely wanted to give up more times than I care to count.
After spending myself in tears I would remember this promise “what we sow in tears we will reap in joy”. I knew my tears were not in vain and someday I would reap a bountiful harvest of JOY. So I would press on, knowing that God had a dream for our family that would be joy-filled and we were not there yet.
It was during one of these “I want to quit” seasons that something rose up in my spirit that would be my declaration for the days ahead of me. I knew our family did not have to settle for the status quo of single parent families. I was aware of families all around me that were settling for something less than what I wanted for my kids and our family.
Believe me, my children had their times of rebellion, bad attitudes, arguing, and apathy. You name it, one of my kids has ventured down that path. However, I knew if I let my expectations of a loving family slip into oblivion we would never reach the goal that God had put before us. And a loving, supportive, connected family is HIS idea and His goal.
So with that image ever before me, I got up off the floor, wiped my tears, and ran the race He set before me. My kids and I (and their spouses) are still engaged in that journey as we fight for love time and time again. However, now I don’t drag them along, they carry the vision themselves. hope
Here’s help to set a vision for something MORE for your family:
Don’t be defined by the myth. The statistics for single parent families are not in alignment with God’s plan. So don’t allow your self to settle for something less than His vision for your family.
Get a God-Given Vision for your family. Find scripture to support that vision.
All your sons will be taught of the Lord;
And the well-being of your sons will be great. Isaiah 54:13
Every time I would struggle with my sons I would remind God of His promise.
Then (MY) offspring will be known among the nations,
And (MY) descendants in the midst of the peoples.
All who see them will recognize them
Because they are the offspring whom the Lord has blessed. Isaiah 61
This whole chapter of Isaiah is important because it speaks of Jesus coming and binding up the broken hearted, releasing captives, giving us joy for sorrow and beauty for ashes. Then it speaks of restoration and promises for our children. I partnered with the heart of the Lord using this passage as a prayer, promise from the Lord and a declaration over my family MANY times and even to this day I am waiting on some things to be fulfilled.
Here am I and the children whom the Lord has given me! We are for signs and wonders in Israel From the Lord of hosts. Isaiah 8:8 hope
I think the greatest thing I have learned, as a single mother, is that God is able. He really does more than we could imagine when we partner with Him and His plans. He makes beauty from ashes and gives a garland of praise for a spirit of fainting.hope
What is the vision you have for a healthy, loving, engaged family? Write it down and share it with us. It will inspire and encourage others.
By Misty Honnold
Mother of 2 adult girls, 2 adult sons & 2 amazing son-in-laws (married to daughters)
1 Corinthians 13 Parenting Team Member
Executive Director and Founder of The Single MOM KC
Hostess of Mocha Moments For The Single MO