One thing I have learned over ten years of ministry to parents (and especially moms) is that many struggle with feelings of guilt and shame. It seems that my wife struggles with this more than I do as a dad. This appears to be the case with most couples I know. Could it be connected to gender?
As a loving mother who cares for her kids, does she still feel guilty for not spending enough time with them? Does she focus on a recent outburst of anger instead of receiving forgiveness? Does she constantly compare herself with other moms and feel like she does not measure up?
Although these feelings are common, how can we help our wives not dwell on them?
So… back to the roses. I believe a great gift we can give at Valentine’s Day and every day is encouragement. This can be in the form of compliments or sharing God’s Word. It’s time to remind and reassure our wives they don’t have to focus on guilt or shame. Instead, we can encourage them with wisdom from Proverbs.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
We have a great opportunity to help our wives move from guilt and shame and instead to whom God has gifted and created them to be. Start thinking about the many ways she is a blessing as a wife and mother. And then tell her!
When was the last time you blessed and praised your wife for the great mother she is?