As a single mother, I knew my children were statistically more likely to have to deal with trouble like promiscuity, pornography, feelings of rejection and inadequacy that might lead to eating disorders, cutting and more.
For some reason, I thought we were above all of those issues; after all, I was a praying momma, my children had good friends, I monitored what they watched and read.
So, I didn’t worry…until things started to surface.
I found myself unprepared for the challenges my children were facing and the addictions that were pulling them into a world that would be hard to escape.
As I look back at the challenges each of them faced, there were warning signs.
1. Disengagement: Gradually when my children were struggling they became less involved in the family, withdrawn, and wanted to hide away. I bought into the lie that it was ‘just their age’ when really they were hiding in shame.
2. Clothing: What we wear or the way we wear it says a lot about how we feel about ourselves. Someone that is struggling with shame might begin hiding under their clothing; a young lady who is longing for attention might begin dressing in alluring ways.
3. Complacency: Porn offers cheap control and a young man has the ability to enter into the fantasy of control without the battle for manhood. Becoming a man involves a fight for identity and those involved in porn may tend to be apathetic about life, change, and challenges.
4. Lying: Are you noticing stories are not matching up, or things are not what they seem? Be careful to pay attention to the little white lies, there could be something bigger under the surface.
So what can you do?
- Educate yourself
- Don’t be afraid of the language; call it what it is.
- Find support for your kids
- Don’t do it alone, Mom…you can’t be ashamed of the struggle your child is facing, you are not protecting them by hiding an addiction.
It was during these times that I became intimately familiar with grace:
My grace is all you need.
My power works best in weakness.
So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses,
so that the power of Christ can work through me.
2 Corinthians 12:19 NLT
I was weak, without answers, and fearful of what the future held for my children. I learned to rest in grace and His promise to work through me in my weakness.
He wants to use our families as a living testament of His Grace, in our struggles we find He is enough.
By Misty Honnold
Mother of 2 adult girls, 2 adult sons & 2 amazing NEW sons (married to daughters)
1 Corinthians 13 Parenting Team Member
Executive Director and Founder of The Single MOM KC
Hostess of Mocha Moments For The Single MOM
The 1 Corinthians 13 Parent Series: Raising Little Kids with Big Love and Raising Big Kids with Supernatural Love and their companion Study Guides, are formally launched this month. We are sharing the LOVE with over $400.00 worth of give-aways: books, jewelry, and one-on-one parent coaching with either Lori Wildenberg or Becky Danielson, both licensed parent and family educators. To be eligible for the gifts, comment on one or more of the 1C13P blog posts during the month of February. Winners will be randomly drawn each Friday and notified via email.