Sorry, this blog will make you the victorious boxer in the ring of marriage, but not by humiliating your spouse. Instead, these three concepts will bring about another type of victory all together!
Step One: Identify the Enemy
Too often when we face a disagreements in our marriage, we look at our spouse as the enemy. The truth is you and your spouse are on the same team! You both want good things for your marriage. The one who would love to see you battle against one another is the real enemy-Satan. As long as he pits spouses against one another, he can attack the family—God’s design for His creation. In fact, when we seek to win against our spouse, our marriage is the one that loses! In order to win the battle in marriage, be sure you are facing the real enemy in your marriage together.
Step Two: Live in Grace
The fact is you and your spouse are both sinners living under the same roof. Neither of you are perfect. Both of you make mistakes. Just like the blood of Christ covers you before the Lord, Christ’s blood is key in winning the battle in your marriage. Christ’s blood is grace—the most beautiful expression of unconditional love. Let love cover a multitude of sins. Continue to seek God’s grace and extend grace and love to your spouse. Be 1 Corinthians 13 love to your spouse. Be patient and kind. Do not be jealous, boastful or proud. Do not be rude or self-seeking, but forgive, rejoice in truth, and protect your marriage. Keep the hope and persevere. The enemy cannot stand against the love and grace of the Lord.
Step Three: Live in Truth
What are the negative messages you tell yourself about your spouse or your marriage? These negative messages are often lies! The Bible refers to the enemy as the “father of lies”. Living in truth means knowing what the Bible says about who you are and who your spouse is in Christ. You are both a new creation, forgiven, redeemed. You are both being transformed. If we spend our day rehearsing the negative messages about our spouse or marriage, we fuel the lies. Instead, remember Philippians 4:8; Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
The truth is some days it’s difficult to love our spouse because we’re not sure we even like them! Start by making a list of three good things about your spouse. When you hear the negative messages creeping into your mind, go back to the list and remember the good about your spouse. Try adding one thing to the list each day. Fighting the battle in your mind is a key way to winning the battle in your marriage.
What can you do today to win the battle in your marriage?
By Heather Larson, M.A.
Wife to Peter, Mom of three
1 Corinthians 13 Team Member
Associate Director of 10 Great Dates