Like much of the country recently, Minnesota got buried in almost a foot of snow! Thankfully, it didn’t come all at once. We would get a few inches and then a break. Then another few inches and another break until we had enough accumulation that many schools had to declare a snow day.
Fortunately, my family was able to stay on top of the snow removal. We had the right equipment: shovels and a snow blower. However, the right equipment doesn’t do it on its own. Snow equipment needs people who are willing to bundle up, get out in the cold, and work it. We didn’t let the snow banks build up before we started in on the work. We took turns heading out during the breaks in the blizzard so we were able to keep from getting buried.
Sometimes it is easy to feel like we are experiencing a snowstorm in our marriages. The “snow” that accumulates in our marriages can come from unmet expectations, anger, hurt, or disappointment. They key is to not get buried in these negative feelings.
2 Ways to Avoid a Marital Storm
First, think about the equipment that we have: prayer, encouragement from scripture, reservoirs of love, patience, listening, and forgiveness.
Second, we need to be willing to use these tools in marriage instead of complaining about the “snow” or circumstances. It’s much easier if we use these tools and equipment regularly instead of waiting until there is an accumulation of anger or hurt. But even then, it’s not too late! The work may be harder, but it can be done!
Ephesians 4:31 warns us about the “snow” that can pile up in our marriages: Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Verse 32 reminds us of the equipment that God has given us: Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you (Ephesians 4:32). Don’t wait for your spouse to get started. It starts with just one who is willing to “start shoveling.”
How can you use the equipment God has given you, kindness, compassion, and forgiveness, to avoid getting buried in your marriage by unmet expectations, anger, hurt, or disappointment?
Be kind and compassionate to one another,
forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.
By Heather Larson, speaker, author, and life coach at Bridgewell Coaching.